My · Own · Little · World

Hey, sorry I have not written in forever. I'll write more when I have time. In short, wedding is off. Long story. Been super busy.

Hey, made it to Colorado. Finally got the internet. I'll update more when I have more time.

Yes folks, I'm still in California. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get out of this state. We have been sitting for almost 48 hours, because the stupid bitch at his work is still trying to find a load for him going back through Omaha. Well, she said we are for sure getting out of here today, but considering it's almost 2 PM their time, I am beginning to wonder. Mark is worried they will send him unloaded, which won't pay him very much at all. But, I really wouldn't mind it, because if I have to go back into LA, I will fucking scream.
Anyways, so far, I have seen some interesting people here. We went to the grocery store the other night, after my uncle dropped us off. The woman who checked us out was named Vicoria, well, she was really a Victor. Yeah, I have seen transvestites on TV, but never in real life. I don't have a problem with it, it just kind of made me laugh. Mark saw a woman and a man in a car driving down the freeway completely nude. Yesterday, we witnessed a prostitute getting arrested right outside of the truckstop in daylight. Last night, we saw a few of them running around outside trying to hop in trucks.
Mark's poor puppy dog is missing me big time. She never poops in the house when I'm home. She has been pooping every day since I left, including chewing up a pillow (my dad said it looked as if it snowed in the damn house), and chewed up the remote control for the TV. Anyways, I'm going to get going, going to make Mark call Carol and tell her we are getting the fuck out of California now.

Things have been going good and bad. The bad, of course, is work, and I still have not found a new job. I'm getting frustrated big time.
Things with Mark are going awesome. I'm really happy with him, and happy that I finally met a great, mature guy. He is so great to me, it's not what I expected at all. And, I wasn't expecting to have feelings for him either, but I do.
Anyways, Christmas was good. Got some really nice things. Mark's gift got here today. He got me a Derek Jeter calandar and book. I was laughing, because he always makes fun of me for liking Derek Jeter.
I don't have much time to write right now, because I have been super busy lately. But, Merry late Chrismas to everyone, I hope you have a good one.

I had one of the most fun weekends in a long time. Friday night, Chris talked me into going to the bar with him, Jim, and my cousin, Dave. We went to this little bar with not many people. I sat there and drank some Cherry Coke and played 80's music on the juke box. I had a good time there. They got really drunk, except Chris, he was ok. So, we left there and came back to my place. Chris wanted Jim to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, because I'm addicted to the new version. Well, we left Jim downstairs by himself and he must have gotten bored, because he started talking shit. We were laughing so hard, that we had tears coming down our faces. He was so hilarious that night.
Saturday, Chris, Danny, and I followed my parents to my uncles to say good bye to my cousin. My little cousin, Chance, asked why I always have a new boyfriend. He doesn't quite get the concept yet that you can be friends with someone of the opposite sex. Anyways, then we all went to the bar. My parents actually came out for a bit. Then, Moose and Laura showed up for a bit, but left pretty soon after. Then, Chris, Jen, and Dan met us there for a bit. Chris and Dan were buying the condoms out of the bathroom, it was quite funny. Then, Chris, Jim, David, and I came back to my house again. This time we were all pretty tired. Then, Jimmy and Ray showed up with a shit ton of people to see my brother. Problem was, Danny was not here. But, I finally got to see Ray's hearse. It was pretty damn cool.
Sunday, it was Dave Mathews Band day. It was so awesome. Dave Mathews came out to introduce Gavin DeGraw. I was pretty disappointed that they didn't use the big screens with him, because he is sooo damn hot. My brother and I had nose bleed seats. It kind of sucked, but was one of the best shows I've ever been to. We were like the 4th row from the complete back and I'm scared of heights so I could barely stand up. We were so high up.
I can't wait for this weekend. I'm getting hell from my mom about Mark, this guy I've been seeing. He is hinting that he kind of wants me all to himself. I like to keep my options open, not because I don't like him, it's just, well dating scares me, and I'm not quite ready to be with just one person quite yet. Well, my mom is all pissy cause she knows how I work. I date someone for a bit, then I find something little I don't like, then I dump them. She and my dad have a bet for 2 more weeks to a month of seeing him. They are so mean. But, it is kind of funny. We'll just see how it goes though.
Ok, well I'm off. Need to work out and shower.

I just had a pretty good doctor appointment. I had to go in for a 6 week check up for my Metformin. It went quite well. I've lost some weight since I was in there not even two weeks ago for strep. My period seems to be returning to normal, including the hellish cramps (that I can live with though I suppose). My blood pressure went down to normal again. I'm satisfied for now I suppose. I'm still not up to working out, because my blood sugar keeps dropping, so, I need to be very careful. I ordered a book called the PCOS Diet. I have to go on a very low carb diet to keep my blood sugar up to normal with this medicine and lose weight. I just want it to go away as fast as it can. But, I also don't want to lose weight too fast and have nasty skin. I don't believe in plastic surgery, so I am being very careful.
In other news, Bon Jovi rocked the other night. My mom and I had fun. My mom was cracking me up the whole time. She didn't really know any of his older stuff (which he could have played more of). I'm glad I went though. My mom and I have been getting along much better lately.
Tomorrow, I'm going to be straight forward with my aunt and uncle and let them know that I'm looking for a new job. They are wanting to begin building my apartment, and I need to tell them before they start. I need to get health insurance because there are tests that need to be done to make sure my medicine is working and not hurting me in anyway, and they are quite expensive. I just want to make sure I'm totally healthy. I've cut back on smoking quite a bit. I've only had 2 today, getting ready to quit that too.
Not much other than that going on. Just hanging out, and trying to relax and not get too stressed out. Anyways, I'm off, because I have a killer head ache and am going to go lie down.

Yes, I've been neglecting livejournal lately. I really haven't been up to much. Sending out some resumes, wondering if I'm going to stay where I'm at or not. There are good points and bad points. Lately, it's been pretty good, but you never know. I'm starting to feel much better. Man, my meds fucked me up for awhile there. Especially this week since I had to start taking a double dose. I was super sick. But, glad to report, I'm finally losing weight. Not as fast as I would like to, but I will work on that.
Anyways, not much to talk about lately. Life has certainly gotten quite boring. Nothing really interesting has happened.

So, last night was fun. I'm feeling a little better now, but a little scared about starting this medicine. I still haven't heard from either doctor about it. I'm hoping they call this week.
So, Chris was supposed to play at 7 last night at the Sokol. Jen called me around 7:15 because she didn't go. So, I went out and picked her up with Dave. We got back here, had a few beers before Big Chris showed up. Then, we all hoppped in his brand new Charger and headed for the Sokol. Jen paid for me to get in because we were supposed to be on a date. This psycho dude that I met kept fucking calling my cell phone and I was getting very upset. I hate dudes like that. But, I don't think he will be calling anymore. We took care of that one. Anyways, as we pull up to the Sokol, Chris is putting his drums away. Sucked. So, we hung for a little bit, and I ended up leaving with Big Chris, Jim, and Dave. We came back here and had a few beers. I was so fucking tired from work this week. Chris and Jen were supposed to come over, but we all kind of passed out, so tired. Moose was texting me to hang out last night. It really is begininning to piss me the hell off. He is back with Angie, but still trying to come over. And I was a little drunk and almost let him. Thats when I was like, it is time for bed. I'm not getting into this again.
Then, I called my brother to ask where the hell he was. Brian and Brock drove up from Lincoln, so I figured maybe my brother would have been there. But, we ended up talking for a long period of time, and I found out some interesting stuff, so did he though. I told him about Jen, and he was cool with it. I guess he died his hair black and has decided to take up smoking, which I will kill him for. I struggle with quitting and I don't want him to go through the same thing. Plus, Brian told Chris he drinks quite a bit now. I'm going to have to talk to him. But, I really have no room to talk.
Anyways, woke up this morning with like fucking 20 texts from Moose and Troy. Then, I start getting texts from both Chris', Jen, and Dave. I'm like fuck off, I don't know what is going on tonight yet. I'm supposed to go see my brother, so lay off.
Anyways, I really should go get ready. I have to make an appearance at my step cousins wedding. I am considering wearing jeans since they aren't having a big shin dig, and I'm not staying over a half hour because I really want to get to Lincoln soon.

This week has been very weird, very busy. I've been doing a lot of research to start up my own business. I've met a weird guy, that I wish would go away. This weekend will be fun. I get to have my date with Jen. We may be going to the show tomorrow. We may not. Anyways, it will be make out fun tomorrow night with them.
I finally got some answers today. It makes me happy, but yet pissed off. So, about five years ago, I gained weight, in record time. I had no clue what was going on, but I never changed my eating habits, nothing. I felt so down on myself. My doctor never said a word about it. Around that time, my periods were really fucked up. They were lasting for weeks at a time. My doctor said, oh it's just stress. I get depressed a lot also, for no fucking reason. So, finally, in the past couple months, my period gets so fucked up, I've been getting tested for a lot of shit. Anyways, in the past two months, I've gotten tested for cancer and you name it what else. So, finally today, I go to the specialist that I saw last week. Turns out, I have PCOS. I had a glucose of 100, which is awesome, but my insulin resistance was at 21. It should be 5 to 10. Hence, the weight gain and not being able to loose a lot of weight. So, PCOS, it really sucks. It is a risk treating it also. Since I had the blood clot, I really can't take hormones. So, what is happening, is my body has a hormonal imbalance and I am not ovulating. (I'm making this a public post, because other females should know about this). Anyways, they are putting me on some medicine to get my insulin level back to normal because it is dangerous where it is. And, I have to keep track of my periods, because if I don't have a period for 35 days, I have to take hormones for 7 days. This poses a threat for a blood clot, but has to be done. Anyways. with these pills, I can loose a good amount of weight real fast, and hopefully, my body will go back to normal and I can live a normal life. Sad thing is, if I ever decide to have children, I will probably not be able to have them. I'm not too disappointed, because I've always wanted to adopt, but the problem is meeting a guy that has no problem with this.
So, I guess I'm upset about the people who put me down for gaining weight when it wasn't my fault. I will never make fun of a person who is over weight ever again. I now realize that it could be a medical issue and not because of them eating. I don't eat a whole lot, but still can't loose too much weight. It is sad.
So, with all this said, it is time to sleep. I have to be ready for my big date. It is such a weird relationship, but it is good for me, and I'm happy. I can't wait to see them tomorrow.

My cousin got our Fall Out Boy tickets in the mail. I'm so damn excited. Josh said he is going no matter what, but Laura is still thinking about it. She may need money for other things, but I promised I would not tell anyone. I had fun last night, I feel like a bad sister, but I had fun. Chris and Jim finally came and hung out and I found out why Chris has not been around lately after I got his text after I left. We went to Shea Riley's (after I had a few drinks). My ex-boyfriend that I dated on and off through high school works there, and we really don't get along to this day. Well, thankfully, I saw nothing of him last night. So, we went to see Chris's band and to keep Jen company. It was fun. Afterward we went to a party. Jen introduced me to their hot guitarist, but he was too busy trying to get it on with a 17 year old. Jen was bitching cause she liked him too, even though her and Chris have been together for 5 years. I have no clue what this high school student was doing at this party. Anyways, it was alright, kind of boring. But, I had my boys there and they are fun. We had at least another funny line to remember. I can't believe Chris actually smoked. That was crazy. I did get frustrated with Chris's text last night. I'm so sick of these guys asking me out when I don't want to date anyone. I'm having too much fun and I hate relationships. Oh, I ran into my brother's old singer last night. We chatted for a bit, he is still weird. He asked if I hated him, I told him he wasn't my favorite person in the world. Then, we left to the party because the last band killed our buzz.
I have no idea what is going on tonight. Laura wants me to go with her to see Leslie's boyfriends band. I haven't seen Leslie in years, and let me tell you we have never got along. In fact, Laura and I hated each other up until a year ago, now we are practically inseperable. Anyways, long story short, when I was 20 I was engaged to this guy Chris. Well, him and Leslie have a daughter together, and he used to talk mad shit about her not being a good mom. Well, me being the loyal girlfriend, hated her, so we fought a lot. But, going through what I went through with Chris, and after what he did to Laura and Leslie, we all kind of have something in common. I guess Leslie asked if I would come, because Laura said we would get along great, and she lives right up the street from me. But, I heard from Josh last night, and I was going to go pick him up at his dorms and maybe take him to Ray's. He is Ray's singer, but he isn't of age, so if he wants to hang out I won't be able to go to bars. And, Ray can't drive him, well because Ray is blind. That would be a bad idea.
Today, I have a ton of research to do. My aunt is helping me start up my own side company, while I'm trying to help them grow their company into something huge. I hope mine takes off and I can just work for myself the rest of my life. I have a really good idea, but right now I'm looking at the legal parts before I really get my hopes up. Anyways, I should get going, cause I still need to shower. I slept really late today because I was exhausted. Time to call everyone and see what they want to do tonight also.

For those of you out there in Des Moines land, my brother's band has a show there Saturday night. I'm not quite sure of the venue yet, but I'm probably going with. When I do find out, I will post more, but if any of you could be quite nice to let me know of any hotels around it when I find out. I think I have like 2 car loads coming out with me, and I don't think anyone will be able to drive back. They are actually playing metal fest here first, then they have to take off right away. I think my parents are actually going to go watch them play. I had a lot of fun Saturday at their show.
Work was alright today. I've got someone on my mind and I'm quite confused as to what I want to do. Hopefully, I figure it out soon.
I'm getting a zit on my forehead and it hurts like a bitch. Oh, I've gone down a pant size again!!! I'm quite excited. I have to walk tonight, because I don't think I will be on Thursday. I think my brother is taking me to see the new Rob Zombie movie that night, and him and Jimmy were talking about going to see Bob Saget on Friday. I think I may have to go with, but I also may be going out with my friends. I think everyone is planning on something.
I need to get ahold of Laura and see what she is doing. She was hilarious the other night. She was saying she was having so much fun and everyone kept telling me thank you for inviting them out. It was hilarious, I'm glad everyone had fun. Hopefully, this weekend is equally as much fun. Anyways, I should get going, I should walk before this storm moves in (if it doesn't miss us again, I'm just excited that it is going to cool down afterwards). Haha, a public post, I haven't done one in so long.

I had a lot of fun last night. I didn't think I would, but I did. Chris came over and we went out to the Anchor Inn. Well, first we had to stop by his sisters to grab some jackets for her and her husband. It was kind of chilly sitting right by the river. But, the band was good, the drinks were good, and the company was good. Chris's sister and husband were there, so were his brother and his wife. Travis and his girlfriend showed up. Shit, I haven't seen Travis in months. Just sat around and had a lot of fun and goofed off.
Today is my brothers 21st birthday. I guess his friends lined up 10 shots in front of him at the bar last night at 11:45. My brother is now officially a part of Dirtfedd. Pain Theory is no longer. I guess his guitarist and keyboardist went with the move. They already have a show next Friday, so I have to go. I'll have to ask Christopher if he would like to go with me.
I'm not quite sure what is going on tonight yet. I think I will take my brother out for a bit before he heads out. I would go with him, but I'm not going to be out late again tonight. My damn vitamins haven't gotten here yet and I'm hoping they show up today, since I ran out yesterday.
I guess the mechanic must not be going to work on the truck today. I forgot to bring the phone up to my room incase he called, but he never did. So, I guess he is going to work on it tomorrow. He better, because it needs to be up and running Monday.
Anyways, I need to go get some stuff done and get ready to go to dinner.

I'm beginning to feel much better. I've been very upbeat the past couple of days. Work has been busy as hell, we're getting some new customers. I let one of the drivers go home early yesterday because his cousin was shot and killed the other night. Then, we got so damn busy. It was slow until I let him go home. I guess some officers were driving around and they heard gunshots, and by the time they got there, his cousin was already gone. I felt so bad for him. I worked on my new article today for the next newsletter, been getting a lot of compliements on it. I never thought I'd be writing my own articles for it, but it is kind of fun. Now, I'm working on the web site and making the newsletter into an HTML newsletter, rather than text. I just have so many other responsibilities that it's going to be hard to get these done anytime soon.
I am very excited now, because my web site added some more stores, including Best Buy, Dick Blick, and Mac Mall. Now I get to save money on some of my favorites. I was hoping they would add a Mac store on there sometime, because they have Dell on there.
Tonight is the last OC, very sad, but excited to see what happens. It is my guilty pleasuere, big time. I've got to figure out what I'm going to do this weekend. I have to dog and cat sit Saturday night. Then, I guess we have a family picnic Sunday, that fucked me all up. I heard last weekend that it was supposed to be on Memorial Day, so I thought this coming Monday was Memorial Day. Damn it.
I finally got my new Dave Mathews Band and NIN CDs. I love them, except it is hard to listen to DMB in certain CD players since it is one of those new dual discs. I am not sure if I like those CDs yet.
Anyways, gotta get going, I have a ton of stuff to do tonight, work and personal. I need to brush up on learning more than the basics for HTML.

I'm feeling much better. I have started these vitamins that are making me feel like a million bucks. I've also lost some weight, because my appetite is returning to normal, along with my emotions. Last night, I was kind of bad and strayed away from my program. I had a few beers with Chris and Jim. But, I went to bed pretty early because I was tired as hell.
I'm not going to go out with that guy this weekend quite yet. He has to have surgery on Monday for a stomach ulcer, so we will definately get together after he is better. He said that yesterday and I said good luck for the surgery and he though I meant going out with me. I started laughing. I'm so excited, he is Italian Cicilian. And, very nice indeed.
Not much else going on. Work is going good, I just need to get in gear and finish the logo and work on the web site next. I also need to get with some of the customers to have them write some more references for us to use.
I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do tonight. I know Comet and I are going to go for a walk. I really hope this guy that I work with mates his dog soon. Comet is so lonely during the day since Lucky is gone. I can't believe it's been like 4 weeks since he died. Time flies by so fast now a days.
Anyways, I am going to get going because my aunt will be here soon to pick some stuff up. I still need to shower and stuff. I've been running around cleaning all morning, so it's time for me to stop and relax. And holy shit, I'm making a public post.

I'm too damn excited. Paul McCartney is coming to fucking Omaha. Dad and I are trying to come up with a plan to make sure we get tickets before the show sells out. We find out today and they go on sale next Monday. On a Monday of all days!!! Oh well, I'll get them. Anyways, better go, still have work to do before tomorrow night.

Sometimes I don't feel as if there is enough time in the day to get everything done. I have so much to do, and not enough time. But, I like being busy rather than not. So, my aunt and uncle leave tomorrow for their vacation. Luckily, they found someone else to stay with the animals, so it's one less thing to worry about. I wouldn't have minded, but they said the dogs get you up in the middle of the night.
My uncle has asked me to create a logo for his company. I also have to create a newsletter to send out every month or so to customers and potential customers. I'm pretty excited about that. Jim is off all next week, so we should have plenty of people. He will be able to cover for me when I have to go to the post office and bank. It is just going to be super busy.
The bird is going to get better (well she is already in the process). We found out it was some kind of infection attacking her nerves, so we gave her a shot. They had to order shots for every single bird they have here and over at Bob's. So, that will be done I think this weekend. I've said I will help, which I kind of regret now, but oh well.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do this weekend. I told Brian and Chris I wanted to go out tonight, but I may wait until tomorrow night depending on what they are going to do. I may go have a few beers with my aunt and uncle before they leave tomorrow. Oh, did I mention I chopped my hair off (not all the way, but shorter)? I'm just really worn out and don't really feel like being out so late, which I know would happen if I went out with everyone.
Ok, time to go, dinner is ready. Grilled cheese (not supposed to eat meat today, oops I did).